Beyond The Desk: Are your dreams bigger than your fears?
This month has been an absolute whirlwind! I started it off by turning the big 25, something I've been looking forward to for a while. I always felt with 25 comes a new chapter of adulting. You start expecting different things from yourself in all spheres of life and even though I still don't have everything figured out yet, I certainly have a better grip of life as an adult than when I was at 22 or 23.
I am going through an incredible change in my life at the moment (which I promise to confirm soon) and we all know that with major change in our lives comes fear. Fear of not getting what we desire, fear of failure, fear of not being ready for the change and in the last week or so I have been absolutely engrossed with Oprah's Life Class episodes trying to get the answers. There is one in particular where she interviews Steve Harvey that certainly switched on that "aha" moment for me. When asked how Steve deals with fear in his life Steve quickly responded with "the dream has to bigger than the fear" and that resonated with me. I started to ask myself were my dreams bigger than my fears?
Let's get one thing straight, there is not a moment in time when you won't be fearful of something. In fact fear is a good thing because you can use it as a signal for growth. The problem we tend to have is that we fear the fear instead of embracing it. I have found that in my most trying times I have had to keep reminding myself of the dream. Whether it be when I started studying at Wits, started working or attending modeling castings, in the back of my mind I was always reminded of the dream that sparked the journey. It's absolutely imperative that you have a dream that will keep you going further than the fear, and its even more important to think about the driving force behind your dreams. You simply cant afford to have a flimsy reason for wanting something because you will soon lose the passion that's necessary to push you through.
The second important lesson I learnt from Steve is to stop telling your dreams to small minded people. You genuinely cant afford to have people who are fearful in their own lives casting their insecurities on you. I always stand by the fact that you are the average of the 5 closest people in your life and it's vital that those people represent what you aspire to become one day. If your network of people are not supporting your dreams in one form or the other you simply need to let them go, because where you are going they simply wont follow. You cant be wasting all your energy trying to convince small minded people of your dreams. You need your energy for the journey, so simply let them go.
Finally I want to leave you with something in that interview that really hit me right in the gut. Steve talks about the two most important days in your life. "I have discovered," says Steve "the that the two most days of my life are the day you were born and the day you find out why." He expands this thought process of discovering the reason behind your existence by differentiating between your talent and your gift. So many of us are talented in so many different things, from playing soccer to singing to building business but your gift is a calling, it it goes further than serving you. "Your talent will allow you to have a wonderful career,' explains Steve, "but this is what I've learnt, your career is what you get paid for, but your calling is what you are made for".
I cannot stress enough to you that in order to overcome any challenge in your life you need to continually look at who you are and what your calling is. Have the courage to discover your gift and use your talents to enhance your gift. Your dreams are valid people, don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise and as I always say remember that you are enough as you are, stop waiting for when you gain something externally before chasing your dreams. The trick is in the starting right now as you are, with all the fear in the world but with all the dreams that are to be realized on the other side. As we embark into October and all the change it brings, I leave September with this in mind: " Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."