Nobody is coming to save you

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When you make the conscious decision to go after your most terrifying dreams, the type that makes you think "oh sh*t" I can't believe I'm actually doing this"  you are soon faced with the kind of things that no motivational speech will prepare you.  See when you go after your dreams, and the buzz of the fantasy wears off you realize that the hardest challenge is not eating ramen noodles all day or being told "you will not make it here", the hardest challenge is accepting one fundamental rule: Nobody is coming to save you. 

Almost two years ago I packed up my stuff to go on an adventure of a life time. America embodied every freedom that I had been itching to get ever since I handed my parents the degree they dreamt for me. I was finally doing something that I wanted and honestly I thought to myself that if I put in some effort, went to the gym, took enough 3 am trains from DC to NYC that eventually someone would see why I should be walking down the Victoria's Secret ramp. The thing that hadn't yet occurred to me was how much the world really didn't care about my dream. As kids we grow up believing that we are special (which for the most part we are) but somehow we believe being special means we should automatically get given a platform to show how we can be valuable to the world when that's not the case at all. Nobody cares that you dream of being the first female president. The world knows we should be doing better but we aren’t dreaming that you deserve the top honours. You have to show that you deserve it and most importantly you have to prove it to yourself first. 

Know it

The most important part of any dream is knowing your intention aka knowing the big “why?” of your dream. You and I could have the same dream, but our reasons might be world's apart. Nobody can carve out for you the intention of your dream, only you can do that. When you know your why, you can figure out if your dream is worth it. There's no point in making your life extremely uncomfortable for a flimsy reason. Ask yourself the hard questions and keep asking. Keep digging at your soul and find your reasons because when things get unbelievably hard and all you want to do is give up, those reasons are going to have to be strong enough to pull you through.

Accept it

A lot of the times when we think about chasing after our dreams we romanticize the struggle. We are in denial with just how much mental, physical and spiritual effort goes into it. Going after something you REALLY want means learning to accept the loneliness that comes with your dreams, the pure exhaustion, the constant rejection and the 3am colossal anxiety attacks. It's brutal but you have to accept it because if we resist the preparation we miss the opportunity. Nobody can accept any reality for you. You have to accept that it's going to take everything out of you, but you simultaneously should accept that your intention is good enough, your mind is bright enough and your willpower is strong enough. You are your own hero first, before anybody is else for you. You shouldn’t have to wait for anything to fall out of the sky. Keep yourself in a constant psyche of creating and adding value to your own world.

Own it

When you realize that nobody will be as vested and as determined to make you succeed at your dream you realize that 1. You have to be about the hustle and 2.  You are fully responsible for how far you are going to take your dream. I sincerely understand that there are some things that are out of your control, but how you decide to react and accept the reality of those experiences is entirely on you. How you go about being fired, or getting dumped or being told you "you're too fat" will drive your actions and actions are a big component of the hustle. You cant expect that people will randomly just want to help you. People have a lot of things going on in their own lives, even the most sincere people have stuff going on, so you have to have things going on for your life too. When you take control over your experiences you empower yourself and help yourself learn invaluable lessons that will propel you into becoming your next level self and that's the self that you are going to need when you put on the cape.

Realizing that nobody is coming to save you and that you are entirely your own responsibility is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself. You're putting your trust, self belief and accountability on your shoulders. I've been in some really dark places in the past 2 years and I've wanted nothing more than for someone to save me but you have to keep understanding how important it is to show up for yourself. Even if somebody comes, if you aren't present in your own mind there is nothing that anyone can do for you. You are the key ingredient of everything that you experience, the circumstances may not be yours but the choices are all on you. It's a hard pill to swallow sometimes but it's also the best medicine. You are the hero of your story. Nobody is coming to save you, you have to save yourself. Know it. Accept it. Own it.

Khanya Modipa4 Comments